Who is Charles Xavier?
by ZANNE
Summary: What happens when some nosy students find Charles Xavier's autobiography? With ZANNE writing this story, anything can happen. OK, so I kinda got distracted with the plot, but I did manage to update and for that I am proud of myself.
1. Stolen Cheese and Discoveries

Mwa ha haa! Bet you thought I wouldn't write another fanfiction huh? "She's too weak!" they said. "She's to busy with winter track!" they said. "She's too lazy!" they said. Well they were wrong! I've come up with a truly original story. FINALLY! An idea that hasn't been so over used that people don't even bother to read the fics because they're all the same!!! Well NO MORE!  
  
But enough of ZANNE'S bodacious babble! Time for the disclaimer haiku:  
  
X-Men Evolu-  
tion is a cartoon that ZANNE  
does not own oh woe  
  
Ok, now I'm sure that you're all itching for the FULL summary. So here you go!  
  
Charles Xavier: A man without a past. Or at least that is what everyone thinks. No one really bothered to ask him about it right? But what happens when a few nosy students find his biography...?  
  
Ok, so it's the same as the one on the outside, wanna fight about it? So without further ado, I present to you, the first actual chapter story of ZANNE!  
  
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"Finally finished!" Charles Xavier said happily as he pulled a piece of paper out of his type writer, "It took me a whole year, but it was worth it."  
  
He then picked up a large pile of papers and placed the freshly typed sheet at the bottom. Then he punched three holes on their left side and bound them all together, making them into a book. He put the book down on top of his desk and then turned around his wheel chair to face the clock. It was 2:00 am.  
  
'I've been doing too much lately,' he thought, 'Maybe I should take a break. Just one day away won't hurt.'  
  
And with that, he wheeled out of his study to take a much needed rest. But he left his book behind on the desk. Little did he know that he would regret it later...  
  
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"GAH!" yelled Kurt as he ran down the hall of Charles Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters.  
  
"I'm gonna rip your tail out and like use it for a belt you big jerk!"  
  
"But Kitty! I swear I didn't eat your cheese!" Kurt yelled.  
  
"Lance gave me that cheese!" screamed Kitty from behind him, "And I'm gonna get it back no matter what!"  
  
"No way! I'm out of here!" and with that, Kurt teleported. But since he as kind of distracted by the ceramic plate flying at his head, he teleported blindly. As a result, he ended up landing in a heap.  
  
"Ouch!" Kurt groaned as he picked himself up off the floor, "Where am I?"  
  
As he looked around he realized he was in the Professor's study. It was a very nice room, large and lavishly decorated. Up against the far wall was an antique wooden bookcase and a burgundy sofa with some gold tassels. It placed so that the one sitting in it could have a nice view out the tall window that overlooked the forest and the cliff overlooking the bay. There were also some random busts set on pillars of John F. Kennedy, Mozart, and Plato and a few arm chairs here and there. But the most noticeable thing was the lovely wooden desk near the wall opposite of the bookcase. It was very large and instead of just stubby wooden pegs for legs it had lion paws. It was decorated with intricate designs and looked extremely expensive.  
  
But aside from all these things, the thing that Kurt noticed most was what was on top of the desk. It was a book. But it wasn't really a book at all. It was just a large stack of papers bounded with metal rings. But still...  
  
Kurt walked over to the desk and looked at the book. On the cover where the words "Who is Charles Xavier?" printed thick and black. 'Should I touch it?' he asked himself. Inside his mind he was debating with himself. 'The Professor wouldn't ever violate HIS privacy, so why should he violate his?' a little voice in the back of his head said. 'On the other hand,' said another voice, maybe the Prof. had left it out in the open on purpose in hopes that someone WOULD read it.  
  
The latter voice in his head won and Kurt found himself picking the book up and examining it.  
  
"Oh when I get my hand on him!" he could hear Kitty mumbling from outside the study door. "PROFESSOR!" she yelled as she knocked on the door, "Kurt's being a jerk and now I can find him!"  
  
Kurt held his breath and stood very still, hoping she would just go away.  
  
"Professor?" Kitty asked more calmly, "Are you in there?"  
  
Getting impatient she phased through the door and locked eyes with the very same person she was looking for.  
  
"YOU!" she screamed as she lunged at him.  
  
"Eeep!" said Kurt as he jumped, dropping the book, and stuck to the ceiling out of her reach.  
  
"Come down here right now!" Kitty yelled as she jumped up and down trying to reach him. Then she noticed the book on the floor.  
  
"What's this?" she asked.  
  
"If I tell you will you promise not to hurt me?"  
  
"Fine, fine." she mumbled.  
  
"Good," said Kurt as he jumped down and landed next to here, "It's a book that I found on the Professor's desk."  
  
"What? And you just picked it up without permission? Do you have a conscience at all?" she asked, waving her arms at him, "First my cheese, then the Professor's book!"  
  
"HEY! I wasn't the one who ate your cheese," he said defensively, "If you must know, it was Scott. He made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for him and Jean."  
  
"Oh, sorry," she said, "Where is the Prof. anyway?"  
  
Kurt thought for a minute, "I think Logan said something about him taking a little vacation.. But I can't remember where he said he was going."  
  
"Well, I don't think we should read it," Kitty said, "That's a total violation of trust!"  
  
"Yeah, I know." Kurt said looking at the ground.  
  
"But...." she said more connivingly, "He's not here to catch us right ?"  
  
They both looked at each other and then at the book on the floor.  
  
"Soooo.. Who's gonna read it first?" Kurt asked slowely..  
  
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HA HA HA HA HAAAAA! Cliffhanger! I HATE cliffhangers! But only when I'm the one reading the story, not when I'm the one writing it! But don't worry; I have this fic actually planned out, unlike my other ones so the chapters should come along pretty quickly. To pass the time why don't you visit my site?  
  
And here's a little fun fact. The reason I had Scott make grilled cheese and tomato soup is because my brother's name is Scott and he used to eat grilled cheese and tomato soup ALL the time! It just seemed to fit.  
  
To all my faithful friends and reviewers out there, keep on truckin!  
  
~ZANNE 


	2. Temptation's a real bitch

Hello again! Are you ready for chapter 2? Well TOO BAD!  
  
And thanks to all my faboo reviewers. I opened my inbox and it was all like "You have 8 new messages in your mailbox," and I was all like WOAH! Yes, that's exactly what I was like. So I hope you enjoy this chappy.  
  
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"Soooo. Who's gonna read it first?" Kurt asked slowly.  
  
"Jean, I'm telling you one last time!" Scott's voice could be heard out side the door, "it's spelled P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"  
  
"Uh oh," whispered Kitty.  
  
"You obviously have NO idea what you are talking about! EVERYONE knows it's spelled P-O-T-A-T-O!" Jean yelled back.  
  
"FINE! Be stubborn! We can ask the Professor!" then there was a knock on the door, "Professor!"  
  
"Uh.. I'm not feeling too well today," Kurt said trying to sound like the Professor, "Go away and don't come near this room for the rest of the day. Maybe not for the rest of the week!"  
  
"Wait a sec.." Jean said suspiciously, "That's not the Professor's voice!"  
  
So Jean opened the door with her telekinesis to reveal Kurt and Kitty standing in the middle of the study with a very guilty look on their faces.  
  
"What are you two doing in here?" Scott asked.  
  
"Nothin'," Kitty said casually.  
  
"It sure doesn't look like nothin'!" Scott said, "Spill!"  
  
"Ok, ok! Kitty chased me in here and I found this book on the Professor's desk," said Kurt holding out the book, "But we weren't gonna read it!"  
  
"Sure you weren't," Jean said sarcastically, "Let me see that."  
  
Kurt handed the book to Jean and Jean read what was on the cover.  
  
"'Who is Charles Xavier?'" read Jean as she flipped through the first couple of pages, "Oh my god! This is about his life!"  
  
"Really?" Scott asked, "Let ME see, Jean!"  
  
"But it would be wrong to read it without his permission first! I say we just put it back where we found it and forget this ever happened." said the all knowing Jean Grey.  
  
"But we've already come this far!" said Kitty, "Can't we just read a little bit?"  
  
"NO!" yelled Jean, cradling the book protectively.  
  
"How about this?" Scott asked, "We put the book back on the desk and we all just walk out of the room and go somewhere far away, but we stay together to make sure that none of us sneak back to read the book?"  
  
"I guess the would work," thought Kurt.  
  
"Maybe." said Kitty.  
  
"That's a great idea Scott!" Jean exclaimed as she kissed him, "I knew there was a reason why I love you!"  
  
Scott just smiled dumbly and took the book from Jean. Then, he placed it back on top of the desk and took a step back.  
  
"Ok," he said, "Now let's go."  
  
So they all backed out of the room and Jean locked the door behind them.  
  
"The Professor would be SO proud of us if he knew that we beat temptation!" Jean said happily.  
  
"Yeah, sure." mumbled Kurt and Kitty.  
  
They all went into the rec. room and sat down on the couch. Then Scott turned on the TV.  
  
After about 20 minutes of "The Real World, Road Rules Challenge" episode that they had all seen about 5 times before, Kurt was starting to get antsy.  
  
"Can I go to the bathroom?" he asked.  
  
"I don't know, can you?" Kitty asked him and then started to giggle hysterically.  
  
"Shut up.." mumbled Kurt as he got up and headed down the hall.  
  
"Wait a minute.." Scott started, "That's not the way to the boy's bathroom!"  
  
Realizing what this meant, they all jumped off the couch and ran to the Prof's study.  
  
Kitty phased them through the door just in time to dog pile on Kurt.  
  
"Aww COME ON!" Kurt yelled from under them, "Can't I just read one page?!"  
  
Just then, Rogue came walking down the hall.  
  
"What's all the noise about?" she asked, "Is Kitty still mourning about that stupid cheese?"  
  
"NO!" yelled Kitty as she untangled herself from Scott's legs, "We found a book and Jean won't let us read it!" she pointed to said book on top of the desk.  
  
"Oh stop making me look like the bad guy!" Jean yelled as she helped Scott off the floor.  
  
"Well it's true!" Kitty yelled back.  
  
"Can somebody help me up?" asked Kurt from the floor.  
  
"What's so special about this book?" Rogue asked as she walked over to the desk and picked up the book, "Oh" she said simply as she read the cover.  
  
"NO ROGUE!" screamed Jean, "Don't read it!"  
  
"Oh come ON!" scoffed Rogue, "You know you want to read it!"  
  
"Well.." Jean said as she looked at the floor.  
  
Rogue walked over to Kurt and plopped the book down on his head, "So just read it!"  
  
"NO!!!!" Jean screamed as she stomped on the floor, "I will never betray Professor Xavier!!!!"  
  
"Woah, calm down Jean!" Scott said as he grabbed her shoulders.  
  
"Fine. Fine!" Jean yelled as she threw her arms in the air in exasperation, "Read it! See if I care!"  
  
So Kitty picked up the book and grabbed as seat on the couch, and was soon followed by Scott, Kurt, and Rogue.  
  
This left Jean standing in the middle of the room like a jackass.  
  
"Well, if you really are going to violate our mentor's privacy so brutally, I think I should be here to tell him exactly how you did it!" and she walked over to an armchair and sat down.  
  
"No way Jean!" said Kurt. "You have to promise not to say anything." He thought for a minute, "OR think anything at him!"  
  
"Fine.." grumbled Jean as she sank lower into her chair and scowled.  
  
"Ok, so like, I'll start," said Kitty as she opened the book, "Chapter 1..."  
  
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Oh I AM evil! Yet another cliffhanger! Next chapter I promise you will get to see some of the book. And in case you're wondering, it's spelled P-A-T-O- T-O.  
  
Smell ya later!  
  
~ZANNE 


	3. Death to Lu Lu

WOAH! It's been an insanely long time since I have updated! I'M SO SORRY! Fear not! I am not dropping this story and I will TRY to update more frequently! The key word there is "try", as in I will try not to spend all my computer time sending instant messages and reading other people's fics and doing pointless things to my site. SHOUT OUT TIME!  
  
Desert-Rose6: I'm glad you like it so much!  
  
Romy Luver: YAY!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: .. Ok? And yes, it is spelled p-o-t-a-t-o.  
  
Golden-Tuna: YOU'RE YUCKY!  
  
Dark Ballerina: I put some Rogue in for you! Are you happy now?  
  
Scrawler: I hate math..  
  
Goldylokz: When I first thought about the idea and wrote the summary for the fic, I was going to just write it in third person or something and figured that if I did call it an autobiography I would confuse myself. Now that the book is in first person, I can call it whatever the hell I want!  
  
Taineyah: I'm going as fast as I can!  
  
Ncsgirl: Thanks for reviewing! Here it is!  
  
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"Ok, so like, I'll start," said Kitty as she opened the book, "Chapter 1"  
  
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(Just to let you know, we're reading from the story now. So no more stupid quote things because ZANNE is lazy.)  
  
My name is Charles Xavier. I am a mutant with the ability to read minds. I founded the Charles Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters to provide a sanctuary for young mutants. A sanctuary that I never had.  
  
I was born on April 23, 1944 in a ramshackle farmhouse in Greenwich, England. My mother's name was Anna and my father's name was Hugh. When I was three months old my father was drafted into the army and was shipped off to Poland. He died in September on a cold battlefield.  
  
My mother was deeply depressed by his death and sent me to live with my aunt until she could find enough money to support us. After the war ended she took me back to live with here again.  
  
My mother had always been a beautiful woman. She could have had any man she wanted. She chose my father because of love, but she chose HIM because of his money.  
  
When she came to my aunt's to get me, she was engaged to a wealthy entrepreneur named William Marco. We moved into one of his many lavish mansions when they were married. Marco had no children of his own so he treated me like a prince. That is, until Cain.  
  
My mother became pregnant and had a son named Cain. I was five when they brought him home from the hospital. Cain was an incredibly large baby, weighing almost 13 pounds when he was born. I was shunned aside by Marco, but my mother still loved me. She loved me more than Cain.  
  
But when winter came, my mother died of severe pneumonia. She had been so weak after giving birth to Cain that she died only three days after being put in the hospital. Marco was beside himself with grief but only one month after her death, he married a young beautiful girl named Agnes. Agnes was only 17 and knew next to nothing about children so Cain was taken care of mostly by the French nanny, while I was left alone to fend for myself.  
  
I never got over the death of my mother, and I could never forgive Marco for forgetting her so quickly. I locked myself in my closet for hours to think. All I could do was think, but sometimes I would think thoughts that weren't even mine. It scared me to look at someone and hear their voice in my head, even though it was too soft to understand. But eventually they got clearer, and started to drive me insane.  
  
One day when I was about six years old, Agnes and Marco left for a holiday to Bermuda, leaving Cain and I in the care of the French nanny, Lu Lu. Lu Lu was a sweat thing, she always said nice things to me in and never yelled like Agnes.  
  
Cain had learned how to walk and was always determined to make my life a living hell.  
  
"Charley! CHARLEY!" He would scream from the end of the hall. When I tried to run away, he would pull the carpet out from under me and laugh as I fell hard on the exposed wood floor. I hated him so much. Not only was he the bane of my existence, but he took my mother away from me. He had to pay.  
  
At dinner, Lu Lu made spaghetti and meatballs. As she was cleaning up the kitchen while we ate and Cain threw his plate at me. I didn't have time to duck, so I was plastered with spaghetti sauce and almost knocked unconscious by the lenox plate. I fell to the floor and was cut by the shattering china. And he just laughed. I hated it when he laughed. He ALWAYS laughed. I couldn't stop myself. I jumped up, knocked over Cain's highchair and started to strangle him.  
  
Hearing the noise and Cain's gagging, Lu Lu flew into the room and tried to pry me off of him. She was screaming and yelling at me to stop. But I couldn't stop, I had to kill Cain and make him pay for what he did. And she was keeping me from it. She needed to go away.  
  
I turned to Lu Lu and looked at her with as much hate as I could. I thought of her heart stopping. I pictured her lungs exploding and her blood turning cold. I imagined her on the floor screaming and squirming, begging for death to come to her wounded and ruined body.  
  
Before she could say or do anything more, she froze. She let go of me and began to gasp. Her breathing was harsh and raged. One of her hands was clutching her chest while the other was reaching for something that wasn't there. I couldn't move. All I would do was watch her die. And it felt good to see her struggle, this was what I wanted. What I needed.  
  
She fell to the ground squirming and twitching. Her nose was bleeding and her eyes were wide with pain and fear. Then, her body started to shake uncontrollably until finally it stopped moving all together. Lu Lu just lay there on the dining room floor, dead.  
  
When I saw her body and couldn't hear any more of her screams in my head I couldn't believe what I had just done. I had just killed a person. Just by imagining it happening I made it become real. I looked at Cain who was still lying on the floor breathing hard. He looked at me and whispered, "Charley.."  
  
Something inside of me began to stir. It screamed in my head, "Run, run, run run run RUN!" So I ran. I ran far away from the mansion into the woods. I ran until my legs collapsed from underneath of me. I hugged myself into a ball and cried. I wished that I was dead. But no matter how hard I tried to make it happen, I just couldn't do it. So I just lay in the shallow freezing water of a creek to wash away a mixture of spaghetti sauce and remorse.  
  
Even though I was a little boy alone in a dark wild forest I was at ease. It was quiet. There was no one around to think. No one's voices invaded my head. No one thought about doing nasty things around me. I wanted to stay in the forest forever, to be with animals whose simple minds could make no sound. But I was found too soon.  
  
A hunter was walking through the woods when he saw me lying in the creek. I was asleep and looked close to dead so he picked me up and brought me to his small cabin. He wrapped me in a quilt and put me in front of the lit fireplace to warm up. When I finally woke I heard him talking on the phone.  
  
"..Yeah, I think 'e's a run away. 'e dunna look like 'E was left here my some un. 'E was just a lyin in the creek, cold as ice. Can you take a look at 'im?..... OK, thanks officer."  
  
The man was making some tea and was busing pouring the water so he didn't notice I was awake. He was humming a strange tune and dropping the tea bags into the mugs when I sneezed. He turned to me in surprise and walked over.  
  
"So, how are ya feelin'?" he asked. He had a funny accent. I liked this man. But I was told never to talk to strangers. So I didn't respond.  
  
"OK, so you be wantin' some tea? Or maybe some stew? Caviar? By the looks o' those clothes ya got on ya look like yer used ta better things than this ol' shack o' mine."  
  
I looked around at my surrounding. It WAS a shack. But there was something about it that felt but there was something about it that made me feel safer then I did in my mansion home. I didn't want to leave, to go back home. I wanted to stay and lie on this strang man's floor forever.  
  
But the police came and took me away. The asked me my name and where I lived. My mother had always told me that I can trust the police and that if I was ever in trouble to go find them. I told them where I lived and when we got there, we found the mansion covered with yellow tape.  
  
The butler had come downstairs to get a glass of water and found Lu Lu's body and immediately called the police. They questioned me about what had happened before I had run away. I couldn't tell them what really happened. I couldn't tell then how I killed Lu Lu without lifting a finger. Or how I watched her die and enjoyed it.  
  
In the end, I made up the story of Lu Lu just collapsing on the floor, knocking Cain's high chair over. I told them that I was too scared so I ran away. They believed it. The only witness was Cain and he was too young to tell them what had happened. He didn't understand it anyway.  
  
When Agnes and Marco came home they were disappointed to have lost their best servant. They needed her for when Agnes had her baby. But she could be replaced. Just like everything else. Just like the broken lenox plate. Just like my mother..  
  
Since I was almost six, Marco sent me away to a boarding school for boys. He was scared of me. I could feel it. He knew that there was something wrong with me. So he got rid of me. But I was happy to leave. To leave behind Cain and the memory of what happened that night. But memories follow you wherever you go. And I have never forgotten it.  
  
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"Woah." said Scott, staring at Kitty, "I never knew about any of that."  
  
"Well why would he tell you?" snapped Jean. She was a little shaken up that the man who she lived with was a murderer.  
  
"Well I AM the leader of his X-Men, he could have at least..."  
  
"UUGH!" screamed Jean, "Everything's ALWAYS about Scott Summers! Scott, Scott, SCOTT! What about Jean?"  
  
Kitty, Rogue, and Kurt just shook their heads as they argued back and forth again.  
  
"I like, never knew that the Prof. was so dark!" said Kitty as she looked at the book.  
  
"So he killed someone when he was six years old?" asked Kurt, "That sucks."  
  
"Maybe we shouldn't be reading this.." thought Kitty.  
  
"But we already started, we can't stop now!" Rogue yelled.  
  
They fell silent and listened to Scott and Jean arguing again.  
  
"I can't believe that you are so selfish!" Jean was saying.  
  
"ME? HA! It's you who had the New Recruits battle to the death because you were bored!"  
  
"That is SO not true!"  
  
"STOP IT!" yelled Kurt as he stood up. Everybody stared at him so he sat down again.  
  
"How about someone else reads it next time?" Kitty said as she handed Rogue the book.  
  
"Fine. If you can't handle it." Rogue flipped the page, "Chapter 2..."  
  
"HEY GUYS!" exclaimed Evan as he walked into the study, "Whatcha doin'?"  
  
Everybody groaned.  
  
"It's good to see you too! What are you reading?"  
  
"NOTHING!" yelled Rogue as she closed the book and sat on it.  
  
"Oh come on!" Evan said, "You think I'm really that stupid?"  
  
"Yeah, you got us Evan, you're just WAY too smart for us!" said Kurt, "Come site down and have a listen."  
  
"SURE! What are we reading?"  
  
"Little Woman."  
  
"NO WAY!" yelled Evan shaking his hands in the air, "You guys enjoy it, I uh, have to help Auntie O shovel the driveway!"  
  
So he quickly ran out of the study and down the hall. Kitty stood up and locked the door.  
  
"Good thinking Kurt," said Scott.  
  
"HELLO!" Rogue said as she got off the book, "It's Rogue's turn to read the funny book! Shut up."  
  
They all looked at her and a cricket chirped in the back round.  
  
"Right.." said Rogue, "So. Chapter 2.."  
  
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HA HA HA! Suspense is a cold cruel bitch isn't she? I don't really like this chapter that much. It was hard for me to write and all my ideas were so random I feel that it reads a little choppy. Well, I hope that you liked it. Tell me if it's bad or if you want more! And to Golden-Tuna, I hope you know where I'm going with the spaghetti thing. Wink wink. OH NO! I shouldn't have winked! Sexual harassment! GAH!  
  
Just ignore that babble above you. I have Multiple Personality Disorder. My head is a little crowded. ANYWAY, did you like it? Did you hate it? Should this story burn in the fiery depths of hell? REVIEW! But if I get another flame like the one in my guestbook, I'm gonna unleash a can of whoop ass so big that people in China will feel it! There go my Multiple Personalities again. But seriously, be nice. Not just to me but to other people too. I've read a lot of stories that were really terrible but I never reviewed them and told them that because that would be really mean. Don't be mean! Oh yeah, I made the book that they were reading "Little Women" because I hate that book SO much. And I made Evan hate it too. I promise to update as soon as I can!  
  
So until next time, remember this; we all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine.  
  
~ZANNE 


	4. Jo mama don't ask

*SIGH* ZANNE hasn't updated in an extremely long time! She has had no ideas! And I was reading my thirst chapter and relishing the burning hatred that I have for it and realized that there are an atrocious amount of spelling errors. It pissed ZANNE off. So I promise to make this chappy super great and grood so as to make up for my embarrassing third one. NO SHOUT OUTS! They make me grouchy. But not the reviews! Just having to write shout outs to people and some of them have hard to spell names and don't say much and I will feel bad if I leave anyone out. OK?  
  
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"OK, so we're on chapter 2...." said Rogue as she turned a page of the book.  
  
They were all still sitting in the pretty little study, staring fixedly at Rogue until Kurt spoke.  
  
"Hey, what happened to the New Recruits?" he asked, "I haven't heard anyone yelling or breaking furniture all day!"  
  
"You're right," thought Jean, "That just isn't natural...."  
  
So because they wanted to make sure that the New Recruits all weren't lying face down in a large puddle somewhere, the X-Men (minus Evan) went out of the study to look for them. Rogue marked the page they left off on and was about to hide it under the desk when....  
  
"ROGUE!" Kitty screamed suddenly, making them all jump.  
  
"WHAT?" Rogue yelled back.  
  
"Did you dog ear the page we left off on?" she asked nervously.  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
"He'll know that someone read it!" she squeaked waving her arms back and forth, "FIX THE PAGE!"  
  
So Rogue sighed and un dog eared the page and hid it under the desk. Then they all stared at each other and tried to remember the what they were about to do before the little bit of typing that was making the chapter of the fic they were in longer.  
  
"Uhh... we were all about to get sandwiches, remember?" Scott said smartly.  
  
"OH YEAH!" the rest chorused. So they all headed towards the kitchen to make some sandwiches, which is pretty self explanatory but was added in case anyone got confused.  
  
As they entered the kitchen, Jean had a revelation.  
  
"Scott we just ate sandwiches," Jean said as she looked at him, "grilled cheese."  
  
"A HA!" Kitty yelled as she pointed her finger at them dramatically, "It was YOU who stole my special cheese!" She took a deep breath that caused her nostrils to flare and her eyes to bulge, "I KNEW you were all out to get me!"  
  
"Kitty it was just a tiny bit of cheese-" but Scott was suddenly cut off by a green gas grenade that shattered the glass of the kitchen window and landed at their feet.  
  
"Ooooohhh!" Jean gapped at the smoking grenade, "PRETTY!"  
  
"Wait, I haven't said anything in awhile," Rogue said, "RUN!"  
  
But before they had a chance to run, fly, teleport, or phase evil green gas spewed out of the grenade and all the X-Men fell down asleep on the kitchen floor, totally defenseless.  
  
"MWA HA HA HAAA!" an evil cackle rang out through the night (actually it was day but... meh) and the shining black leather clad Mystique jumped through the broken window.  
  
"Now that I have taken out the main team, there is no one to stop me from.... from....hmmm." Mystique suddenly looked dumbstruck and scratched her chin.  
  
"Why did I come here again?" she asked herself as she looked around. As she was pondering this further, the New Recruits, who had been out hiking some place that is irrelevant to the story (actually, I don't have any ideas myself), came into the messy kitchen and found them selves face to face with the blue scantily clad woman who had tried to kill them on numerous occasions.  
  
"AAAHHHH!" The New Recruits screamed as they scattered and hid in really obvious places around the kitchen and dining room.  
  
"AAAHHHH!" Mystique screamed as she jumped out another window and landed with a soft fwump in Storm's flower bed.  
  
"EEEEEEE!" she squealed as she ran across the Institute grounds at break neck speed. Eventually she made it back to the Brotherhood House, remembered that she didn't live there anymore, ran to the Bayville Park, and finally settled on hiding behind some bushes, rocking back and forth in a fetal position.  
  
This all occurred in a matter of moments but the X-Men still woke up form the gas rather quickly. It seemed that Mystique had bought the gas bombs form the discount villains store and we all know what a rip off those places can be.  
  
"What the hell just happened?" asked Rogue as she rubbed her head.  
  
Kurt got up too and looked around to find that the New Recruits were all either crouching behind random potted plants or under chairs.  
  
"Where did you come from?" he asked them as he knelt down next to Amara but since Amara was still scared of his freakish appearance even though she had had 2 whole seasons to get used to it. So Amara screamed and ran off somewhere else and will probably stay there for the rest of the story.  
  
"We saw Mystique!" Bobby exclaimed breathlessly to Kurt as he climbed out of the utensil drawer, "She was right here in the kitchen!"  
  
"MYSTIQUE?" screamed Scott furiously, "In MY kitchen? Why I outa...."  
  
"Scott NO!" Jean cried as she grabbed his arm, "She's not worth it!"  
  
"Don't be talkin bout my mama!" Kurt said defensively as he raised a pair of three fingered fists.  
  
"You wanna make somethin of it blue boy?" Scott retorted as he rolled up his sleeves.  
  
"BRING IT!"  
  
So Scott did indeed "bring it" and soon Kurt and Scott were both trying to strangle each other. Since Jean was the resident mentor, she tried to stop them but instead got pushed into the scuffle by Rogue as she and Kitty made a dog pile on them all. But after awhile they all collapsed on the floor again in a heap.  
  
The New Recruits, who had been watching the whole thing, decided that they wanted to find out what would happen if they drank a Slurpee too fast and took off the Bayville 7 Eleven.  
  
Little did they know that they were being watched. Deep in the heart of the Institute's sub basements, two figured bathed in shadow were watching these goings ons by means on a series of hidden cameras places strategically around the Institute. Finally, on of them spoke;  
  
"Yes, yes. All goes according to plan," it said.  
  
"Yes master, shall I begin phase doux of the operation?" the other significantly larger figure asked.  
  
"Oh yes, yes indeed!" Then it started to laugh and cackle like a maniac and the glow of the TV screen reflected off their faces revealing them to be non other than....  
  
"EVAN? BEAST?"  
  
"Wha?" Evan started but fell off his wheely chair in surprise. Standing in the doorway was Storm who had flicked on the light switch and was holding a fresh set of laundered boxers with teddy bears on the butt.  
  
"I have your laundry, oh sweet nephew of mine!" she sang as she threw that underwear gracefully through the air. They landed right on top of the main control panel and it sparked and fizzled until it died completely.  
  
"AW MAN!" Evan wined as he pulled the smoking boxers off the keyboard, "AUNTIE O! Look at what you did!" he tried typing some letter but the keys were all melted together.  
  
"Hmm... must be that new detergent I'm using," Storm said thoughtfully as she raised a finger to her cheek, "Oh well, I have dusting to do!" and on that cheery note she walked out of the room.  
  
"Well, I guess the downfall of human kind will have to be saved for another day." Beast shrugged as he followed Storm to help her dust those hard to reach places.  
  
"SIGH!" Evan sighed as he picked up his snuggly soft undy pants and slumped out of his secret "lair".  
  
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, the X-Men had recovered from their pow-wow and Jean made them all Easy Mac!  
  
"Oh Easy Mac!" Kitty cooed as she held up some of the soggy, gross, cheesy noodles on her fork, " What would we ever do without you?"  
  
"While I enjoy quick yet nasty microwavable food as much as the next guy, I can't help feel like we're forgetting something...." Kurt thought as he scratched his chin.  
  
"Hmmm... You're right!" Kitty said, "But what is it?"  
  
"HMMMM!" They all thought in unison until finally Rogue yelled, " READING THE PROFESSORS BOOK!"  
  
"Oh yeah," Jean said thoughtfully. They all inhaled their Easy Mac and ran to the Prof's study again.  
  
"OK," Rogue said as she picked up the book and everyone settled in around her.  
  
"Chapter 4..."  
  
************************************************************************  
  
WOOT! This whole chapter SUCKED BIG MONKEY BUTT! There was no plot, no Xavier story, and no initiative by the author. I didn't have any ideas, so I went with my instincts (which suck by the way) and wrote whatever popped into my mind. I just HAD to put Mystique in there cause she's my favorite character to make fun of. She's just too maniacal and therefore must be destroyed! I am deeply sorry that I have not updated for so long and then when I finally did I gave you this load of crap. I promise to have more Charley in the next chapter. But hey, a promise from ZANNE is like a promise from North Korea. And that made no sense at all so I am just going to stop ranting NOW.  
  
Phew! Now that that is all said and done, please review and try to be gentle! I have no tolerance for the ungodly flamer that flamed my better half's story, "Blue Future" and I intend to hunt them down if it's the last thing I do! I have a hit list you know. But I think my friend Ben, who is my clone but a guy, is keeping track because whenever I tell him about all the rotten people I must destroy he says, "I guess I'll add them to your hit list, Suzanne" or when the person is REALLY rotten he says "I'll have to put a star next to their name, Suzanne". What did I JUST finish telling myself about ranting! OK, I am definitely stopping now. Right now. True dat homie shizzle!  
  
~ZANNE  
  
()-) he hee. It's Cycops. 


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